Monday, 12 April 2010

Pwned

Had a good day on the tables today, pwning all comers...



Played a small session on Saturday for a reasonable loss, but more than made up for that today. Played all the running limits of the Bad Beat tables on Laddies and thankfully didn't get setup for a loss on the bigger tables. Only managed ~2k hands in two sessions today, but this has only been the third day this month when I've been able to sit down and play two proper sessions.

I've just been so busy. Most of this has been running favours for friends and family. The usual computer stuff as well as building a greenhouse in my dad's allotment. This is the hardest self assembly I've ever done. My dad has a terrible temper and openly admitted that if I wasn't helping he'd have smashed the thing up. Tilt control ftw. I'm still in a bit of pain typing as my fingertips are totally sliced to pieces from the aluminium (spell check is telling me that's wrong, FU America we discovered it). Also this raises the point that it's actually aluminium and perspex, not steel and glass. Cheaper and lighter. We staked it into two foot deep concrete wells, so it shouldn't blow away, but he'll be lucky to get 2 years out of it before the frame and perspex warps and renders it useless. Spending two days more or less inside a greenhouse and going for a huge bike ride yesterday in the glorious sunshine means I have actually caught a wicked tan early in the year. Will try to keep it topped up for my holiday in 7.3 weeks :-)

My arse is killing me from that bike ride. My seat is basically solid metal with a sheet of nylon wrapped around it. Fucking useless. A bit like the rest of the bike really. It was a catalog order when I was a teenager if my memory serves. About £60 of utter crap. We laughed at one of the transfers (!) on it with the model name "Astra" emblazoned in comet-like text. This is funny because co-incidentally my car is an Astra and co-incidentally is also a heap of shite. MOT due this week and it's not going to be pretty! I digress.

The last time I rode that bike was a smidge under 9 years ago! I know this exactly because the last time I rode it I had a pretty ridiculous accident. Read on, I promise to raise a smile. I was 17, and helping down at the cricket ground for some pocket money. I'd ride down for 9am, cut and roll the square and be back home for a late lunch. On the way back one day, I was coming over a single lane hump-back bridge with a busy left turn shortly after it. I'm going straight on though so as I exit the bridge I stand on my pedals and take a look back over my shoulder and see a car just about to enter. He was just going to catch me up for the left turn so I immediately started to gun it but my right foot slipped off the pedal. Cue hilarity.

My superior athleticism (at the time) meant I somehow managed to stay on the bike, but this meant leaning forward and obviously unable to correct this perfectly I smash my bollocks into the centre frame. The handlebars get wedged up into my chest and I look like something out of Benny Hill. I am totally out of control, somehow still on the bike, in lots of pain, and looking very silly. I can't steer and can't find the "barrel-roll to the safety of the footpath" (you know, like in the movies) in time before I smashed into the high kerb of aforementioned left turn.

There is a high kerb there, because there is a house next to the road. A house made of brick. And these bricks are rather distastefully covered in razor sharp pebble dashing. Upon meeting the kerb, I am catapulted over the handlebars. Somehow the physics of the whole thing - approach angle, seating position, speed, trajectory, hilarity factor, future storytelling ability - meant that I went more up in the air rather than my feet flopping over me and me landing on my back. I full on front face-plant into the pebble-dashed brick wall. The left side of my face acts as a superb makeshift brake and I stop moving completely. I pick myself up, a little dazed but more embarrassed than anything else. I feel my face and brush off some of the stones that had stuck into my skin. Cue blood. Lots of it. This is definitely the most I have ever bled, my heart starts to pound which obviously only makes it worse.

I am still half a mile from home. Only way is to get back on the bike and get going. At this point I must mention that I am wearing a white cricket jumper. I can't see out of my left eye and have to keep blowing out the left side of my mouth to clear the blood. After a few hundred yards the left side of my jumper is completely blood red. I remember pulling alongside a car at the next junction and getting a look of absolute horror from the man and wife inside. I gave them a jovial "thumbs up" and mouthed the words "I'm alright" through the window. The rest is a blur until the shriek of horror from my mother as she opened the door quickly sobered me up. I hopped in the shower to clean up, which realised the full extent of my injuries. Three whopping great puncture wounds on my face, and some nasty scrapes on my side and arse, which didn't even register at the time. I look in the bathroom mirror and can see my skull bone through the top cut over my eyebrow. Off to A&E and some metal staples had me right in a few weeks. Still have the scars today and imagine I will have for the rest of my life.

What doesn't kill us...! Surprising that after all that, and it being locked away in a shed for 9 years, that it only needed a bit of WD40 and some air in the tyres and it was ok! Still I'll be buying a padded seat before I go out on it again that's for sure. Highlight of the bike ride was watching a pair of Kingfishers scouting a section of river. Hopefully on another nice day soonish I'll take the camera and fingers crossed get some good snaps.

Hoping to log a good amount of volume this week. Results have been good, I'm up ~£1.3k at the moment, but definitely need to put some grind in. Good luck all :-)

2 comments:

Poker play the Soap way said...

Top bombing - and nice to see took a fw shots.

Just hugely dissapointing no knee update included in that 10 page i rode my bike story :D

JJ said...

Sounds like you are having a great week - keep on it - my skill is improving in April. Good luck at the tables.