Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Almost dead

This pretty much sums up what state I've been in since I last blogged. But I've had an absolutely awesome time doing it. As most will know, I've been to Vegas with Holmes and the footy lads for 10 amazing days of barely any sleep. Then when I got back I was at a Stag Weekend in Wales, white water rafting, adventure coursing and freefall jumping (!!)

Ben has totally set me up on his blog to do a write up so he doesn't have to, but that's never happening. Too much of it is 'in jokes' that no-one will get, and I won't be sharing the majority of photos either! A video compliation in the style of 'The Hangover' credits is in production, as that film was unsuprisingly a recurring theme. I will however post roughly what we did each day:

FRI: Got sozzled on the plane, upstairs was class. Shook Azz's hand many times. Picked up in Limo from Airport by the best Bond baddie of all time, Jaws. Mexican @ MGM. Created a 7 way kitty which Ad trebled up at roulette. Drank the kitty dry in Luxor bars. Ended up at a place which can only be described as...

SAT: Couple of the lads had champagne buffet breakfast at Bellagio, which is obv amazing. VIP pool party at Flamingo. Couple of the lads went to the Mayweather fight @ MGM, then Pure @ Ceaser's followed by...

I crashed early this night as I'd had about 6 hours sleep in 4 days.

SUN: Massive day. NFL Sunday in USA which is amazing. Drinking all day in Blondies@PH. Over the top high fiving at any decision given on one of the many games being shown live. 50c beers. Beer pong. Somehow we came back to the hotel and put suits on and went to Body English@Hard Rock. I pulled a munter.

MON: Par 3 Golf at Angel Park. Awesome putting course there too. Waitress @golf saw us at Blondies on national TV. Hope they got a few of the high fives and baby wanks in there! Absolutely epic night in JET@Mirage. Got in the VIP with NFL and NBA players, I forget their names/teams but they're each most likely pulling in over $5million a year.

TUES: Shopping outlet. 10 pin bowling@Gold Coast (shit hole). Advice: everyone is shit hot at bowling in America. We totally pissed around with behind the back bowls, retardo celebrations of strikes/spares and did a round where you had to 'Ronaldinho pass' style no-look-bowl. Most people gutterballed but amazingly Ad hit two strikes in a row not looking. We've got that on film and I'll post that on here when I'm done editing.

WED: Canyon via helicopter. Can't really do it justice. Photos don't either, you have to go. Fly by of strip on return journey. Amazing. All of us played a poker tourney at Sahara where the least experienced of our group final tabled for a moderate return.

THU: A few lads played a full round of golf. I played some live cash poker. We had a nice Asian meal @Wazuzu@The Wynn. Partied it up at Cat House@Luxor followed by

FRI: We toured basically what we hadn't seen already. Lions@MGM, Reef@Mandalay Bay. Amazing buffet @The Wynn. Stratosphere rides (yes I did all three). Ghost Bar@Palms which had the most amazing view ever. Also the largest spirit measures ever. Silly dancing. Oyston out!

SAT: Redic hungover Wet Republic pool party @MGM. Fittest birds ever. Volleyball. High fives. Unconscious bucket head dive man. £100 steak@Palazzo (mmm). Pure@Ceasers followed by another rsitp ucbl.

So I barely played any poker at all. Managed to win ~$400 though and I think I managed to break even at Blackjack after being in a large hole but went on an epic heater@Sahara.

Amazing place, amazing birds, amazing company, amazing laughs, amazing time full stop.

So after almost pulling round after Vegas, I then have a stag weekend in Wales to go to. Really glad I didn't bottle it though because I had an amzing time, and great to see old friends. It wasn't just a total piss up which to be honest was a fucking lifesaver for me as I'd been drunk for the last two weeks. Saturday we went white water rafting which as a first timer was great, and even better on the last few runs with two boats on a stag party and instructors who were up for a laugh, splashing and boarding each other with many a takedown and dunk in the freezing welsh river! Sat night obv did turn into a huge piss up, with us playing every drinking game forfeit under the sun.

Sunday was an early breakfast and shake off of the hangover to 'Go Ape' which is a huge obstacle course 50ft up in the trees. Some of it surprisingly hard too, but that could have been the delicate state and also the fact I had two old Uni housemates either side of me, so I'd have my obstacle rocked voilently from each side. We did have safety harnesses but a fall still would have banged you up a bit. At the end of the course was a powerfan platform which with a 50ft drop from a 3ft platform, was quite daunting to say the least. With my new found confidence with heights thanks to Strato training, I did manage to make the jump. Those last few seconds on the platform are the scariest by far, and the split second (which feels like ages) that you actually are in freefall is incredible.

That was nothing though, as seperate from the obstacle course, this place has the largest powerfan jump in Europe at 130ft. And it's not on a crane or anything, it's on a fucking massive tree, with staples hammered into the side for you to climb up. Check the second video out here, it's the first activity. Pause it for a second and look at that climb, Christ I was knackered! Also check out that platform, how small? It's really windy up there too. Once you're up there's only one way down and it's quite a task to tell yourself to step off a tiny platform 130ft in the air. You're harnessed at the back so you don't feel any tension either which is horrible! Again the last few seconds on the platform are the worst, and this time the freefall was incredible. You get that rising feeling in your body like when you go down a big dip in your car, only about a million times stronger. Also because it's such a big drop you get that huge rise, but you're still falling so your whole body goes mental and it feels amazing! I must admit it looks quite tame in the video, but also bear in mind thats a bird on there, not a 15stone 6ft bloke. I really want to do it again though, great experience!

So I've spent an absolute shit load of cash lately, obliterated my liver and put back on a load of weight. Time to eat healthy, train hard and hit the poker tables, I think...

I've played a bit of HU for a few hundred quid profit this month, but played my first 6max session in ages tonight. I've kind of forgotten what it's like! I did OK, logging a small loss but getting it in good in two big spots that I lost. Don't know how I feel about playing to be honest. I quite fancy working properly in a proper 9-5 job just for the change. But I know I'll hate it after a month. Guess I'll see after a few more sessions, I still feel like I'm short on sleep too which won't help :-S

Good luck all :-)


Mr Origami said...

Can't beat the rhino ;) Sounds like you had a fantastic time!!!

Anonymous said...

Missed of the mighty victory against the retards!! Oyston Out...