Sunday, 21 December 2008

Merry Christmas me!

Lets start with the footy xmas do. I got loads of pressies!

Unfortunately they were all a complete piss take. For those of you that don't know I've put on a fair bit of weight this year, hitting the weights pretty hard and the kitchen and takeaways even harder ;-) Anyway at the time the secret santas were announced, I was over 16 stone. So yes, I got shit loads of food as presents. Such gems as blocks of lard, packets of 'Porkys' pork scratchings, and huge packs of biscuits. Briggsy who was my secret santa, sneakily sent an email to everyone, saying spend an extra £1 and get Brenos some food! Pretty funny I must admit. I also got a calendar where the image for each month was someone who looks like me. People like Kanye West, Joleon Lescott, Carlos Tevez, John O'Shea and Tommy Lee (it's not even that big). To top it all off, I got an XL t-shirt with an image of Chunk from the Goonies doing 'The Truffle Shuffle'!! These jokes were a bit lost on a few of the new players, as I'm now 14.5 stone and still losing. Bring on the beach in a couple of weeks! :-D

The whole night was great as usual, with the rigging of the secret santas awesome again. Earlier in the year, Ager had used "I've got no dry clothes" as an excuse not to come out. So he obviously got an airing rack and 'The Count from Sesame Street' t-shirt cos he looks like him. 6 bats! Ha ha ha!

Cranny got the perfect present. A mug that he can fill will beer so he can get mortal shitfaced 6 nights a week, with an image of a bodybuilder with a perky bum sculpted on the outside. An excellent conversation starter with any bouncer!

There were lots of other good ones. Azz got a much needed faux first aid kit. Briggs received a no entry warning from Taybarns 'all you can eat' near the Metro Centre, and a guide on how to use My Space safely. There are plenty of dodgy fat munters out there! John got a mousemat from all the girls at Diamond's Club for being such a good customer. Ben got some much needed exercise equipment for the busy male executive (apparantly). Honourable mention to the buyer of the Luxury Shed Calendar, but how Sherwood didn't get some gardening gloves and a tube of superglue I'll never know ;-)

Pokerwise I've been doing better. I've won over $700 so far this weekend, and hopefully can do something in a VIP bonus tournament a bit later. I've also agreed to go into a staking deal which will see me play 1/2 for hopefully some higher profits. I've been so close to getting there myself, but with going away I wouldn't have been able to take a shot again any time too soon. It's a short term deal which suits both parties I think, though trust was never going to be an issue. Hopefully with the sun on my back and nothing to do I can heavily concentrate on grinding out some good poker in the coming months.

I'm getting pretty excited for going now. My hot new 17" 1920x1200 laptop arrives tomorrow, can't wait to get loads of videos put on there for going away, and of course all my poker software. I've got my backpack which I'll stuff with what clothes I've got and then I'm pretty much ready. I think I'll just buy stuff over there as and when I need it. I do need lots of new clothes, but you never know what Santa might bring too!

New Years in Bangkok is going to quite the experience I think, can't wait! Also been thinking on other places to go and there is just sooo many options in SE Asia. We're all pretty relaxed about it though and will just decide when we're out there after speaking to the many travellers which I'm sure we'll bump into in all the bars!

I also think I'll keep this blog going for poker content and stories of debauchery, and open up a serious one with cultural trip reports and nice scenic pictures for the family to look at ;-D

Happy Christmas all, good luck at the tables :-)

EDIT: Placed 5th in the VIP tourney for $1500, and won some more on the cash tables at the same time. $2500 for the weekend :-))))

Monday, 15 December 2008

Not much to report

Been grinding the small stakes as per usual and am still effectively even on play this month. I'm 'up' my rakeback which is ~$700 but still not the best. I'm hoping to grind a lot this week and get some cash made. Don't want to dwell on the -EV stuff too much, I'm just waiting for it to turn and the only way for that to happen is to log some hands. So I'm going to hammer it!

It's the Christmas Footy Do on Thursday, which I'm really looking forward to, yet at the same time, totally dreading it. We do a secret santa which is totally rigged in that your name is given to someone that really knows you well and will get you a really embarrassingly mint present. We had one year where the random draw didn't work and everyone got shit presents. Shit as in, actually good. Stuff like Girls Aloud Calendars and bottles of whiskey. That changed last year after John did a superb job of rigging it and there were some tremendous presents. Custom t-shirts and calendars with photo shopped pictures were the highlights, and top efforts were made all round. I've got my secret santa something pretty awesome (as in shit) but I've certainly made a twat out of myself on enough occasions to provide adequate ammunition for an equally embarrassing present for myself. It'll be an amazing laugh anyway, can't wait!

Wednesday, 10 December 2008


Just had a disaster of a session finishing -$700 in actual dollars and -$700 in EV too. Why do I run so bad?

I am now even for the month and am really really sad. I shouldn't be, I've been playing well, and I shouldn't be results oriented. But this is getting me down.

I need a good sleep :-(

Sunday, 7 December 2008

10k breakeven

The past few days I've logged 10k hands for effectively no money. It's frustrating because I'm sure I'm playing really well. My non-showdown winnings are keeping me in the black this month and it's the first month in a while where my "red line" has been consistently positive. But...I'm getting absolutely mullered at showdown and in preflop all-in spots. AK and QQ lose every race against their respective classic opponent, and I'm on the losing end of dominating situations too. In those situations where the money is going in no matter what I've been on the wrong side of things, and I'd say I'm personally accountable for maybe 20% of these spots where I could have maybe done things differently. This has to turn soon so I decided to see if the people at Ladbrokes could help...

Andy says:
hi joe
Andy says:
can you disable my doomswitch please?
Ladbrokes - MGR Joe says:
Hi Andy - How's it going?

I'd love to turn the doomswitch off for you (and myself for that matter) but it doesn't exist...
Andy says:
I'm breakeven this week
Andy says:
my account is check_lol
Andy says:
can you not just pretend?
Andy says:
it would make me feel better
Ladbrokes - MGR Joe says:
yeah I can pretend...

Andy says:
Andy says:
cant wait for my account to go boom when im playing tomorrow
Ladbrokes - MGR Joe says:
Gl anyway m8
Andy says:
just one last thing
Andy says:
can you flick that special switch that makes me favourite in pair over pair situations?
Ladbrokes - MGR Joe says:
I'll get in trouble for all this pretending lark lol ... flicked!
Andy says:
Andy says:
cheers joe
Andy says:
i wont tell


I also had a faff around in my software folder and decided to use my super photoshopping skills to modify a theme to make multi-tabling a bit easier on the eye. I found a table with all the suits showing and grabbed this screenshot. I actually lost this hand to A9o on the river!!

But yeah check out the sweet yellow card backs, high-vis deck, low key felt and background making my crazy HUD stats easily readable.

Now to get AA vs KK a jillion times next week... ;-D

EDIT: In retrospect things aren't that bad!!

Thursday, 4 December 2008


Last couple of days have been a bit messy.

Yesterday I played on poor tables, but managed to put together a nice $160 win. Trouble is I got a lot of money in good and EV says I should have made $310. And today I play on great tables against mainly idiots and finish -$220. EV says I should have made $80 though so that's a $60 loss since the last post but I should have made $370. Depressing. I'm going to have to try and not look at that tab in HEM!!

Anyway I'm still playing well so will keep trodding along getting dominating hands in preflop for whole buyins but hopefully I'll win 80% of them like I'm supposed to!

Off out for a meal now as it's my mam's birthday today - 21 she tells me!

Tuesday, 2 December 2008


Engage Boomswitch...


So yeah I caught up on my missed EV.

Think that was my most tilt free session ever. I suppose it helps to run above expectation, but I still had a few sets outdrawn and didn't really care. These hotkeys I've got going really keep things moving smoothly and I'm back 8 tabling nicely.

Continue the run good please :-) ............

Good December

Hahaha I make a joke!

I had wanted to use this title non-sarcastically after the last entry, but you'll have to make do with the lowest form of wit...

So that's $500 below equity, which in today's climate is approximately £10 Billion Pounds Sterling.

JJ is never good on KJ8 versus 8T for 280BBs. Yes, 280BBs in on the flop. This is the huge blip in the middle of the graph on 759 Hands. He left the table with $700. I'm sure I fund the vast majority of Ladbrokes donks, who in turn spread it around the regulars. I normally win a bit of it back but no I can't win races either, and even split AK vs AQ. Sigh. Just think running slightly above equity I could have had a $500 start to December, but alas no. Infact I don't want to do that. I don't even want to learn or get better. I want to have boring sessions that turn out marginal winners, resulting in me grinding out about $4k in December. I'd take that nicely about now. It's amazing how the cold and dark changes our outlook eh :-S

On the plus side I have got some hotkeys working for Ladbrokes, which make it much easier and quicker for me to place bets. Needs a bit of tweaking though as it accidently made me minbet $1 into $75 with quads on the river. Doh! I've only been 4-6 tabling but we'll see how this goes.

Anyway it's PMA time (Positive Mental Attitude) and I will play and run better tomorrow. Gogogogogogo!!

Monday, 1 December 2008

Bad November

So I somehow managed to scrape together just over £1k in November. $700 of that was from a stake in Soap who had an awesome month, congrats mate. I also won $2k in the LEOCOP Main Event so when you put those two together it's obvious I've done shit at cash.

I've played a bit with smaller rolls on different sites too this month. I'm looking to spread a bit of money around online so I can better decide on where to play on my travels. Betfair has went the best running £100 upto £300 in about 10k hands. I'm well below equity there aswell, this site has the worst players I've ever seen. On Full Tilt I dabbled in some heads up and got 66 in on K628 for 320BBs vs K8 for a river K to pop up. That ruined my bankroll and with some further tourney buyins I think that is nearly bust now. I've had a few more deep tourney runs since LEOCOP, but nothing noteworthy cash wise.

I intend to four table the usual stakes at Ladbrokes for at least 10k hands. I need to get the confidence back and by really concentrating this is the best way. I don't think 10 tabling is my forte and it just isn't possible on some sites. Full Tilt and Pokerstars software are just streets ahead of anyone else, and with the most traffic comes lots of nifty tools for auto-betting/mass-tabling that just don't exist for the smaller sites. I really struggle to keep tabs on 4 tables on Betfair with their lack of timebank for NL50 and down.

Also this Bangkok faff on is semi-tilting. I'm booked for arrival 30th Dec and have paid for flights and hotel already hopefully it'll get sorted this week and we'll still be able to fly there and not need to re-book, re-schedule and re-research living etc :-(