Monday, 21 July 2008

Drunken fool

Ok so the BBQ turned into a PPITO instead due to bad weather (Putting pizza in the oven) but nonetheless was a cracking good laugh. Getting onto the beers so early in the afternoon is a really really bad idea for me. But I keep doing it anyway.

We watched the golf where between all of us there was money riding on pretty much the entire leaderboard! A laptop was being shared for some low stakes poker donking, and Mario Kart on the Wii is a lot harder than it's N64 counterpart. After many beers and with my new slender figure (more later) I was well and truly trollied by about 5pm. This coincided with me getting a hold of the laptop and deciding to take a new two point approach to $.10/.20 NL.

1) Open shove any two.
2) When opened before you, call and bet/raise pot every street.

Whilst I feel that there are two fundamental flaws to this strategy it sure was a hoot to play. Comments in the chat box were hilarious inbetween me breaking 3 tables! T5 beating QQ AIPF sticks in the memory and despite the obvious crazy action I only finished $40 down after half an hour of retard clicking. Definitely ++++ Happiness EV :-)

A late decision is made to all go and play the £10/£10/£10 at Grovesnor. Bad idea. I think I might have been the first person out of the entire tournament despite turning up late. I saw 7 hands:

2) 78s AIPF vs AK - RELOAD

So I take the walk of shame and do actually go and play Blackjack. I sit for £40, play for I don't know how long, chip up and leave at £100. I crack on with the table a bit and teach a couple of students the basics and they bought me a beer, cheers lads. So I have four £25 black chips in my back pocket. Now this is where things get hazy...

I sit at £1/2 NL and play only a few hands I think. I remember seeing a flop w/77 and making a massive commotion of having to fold as Ad definitely had a monster, but I probably denied him action by being a complete tool. Sorry mate! I think I get up and leave after this, still £80+ to the good and having over £160 on me in cash.

I hang around the poker room still drinking, asked every female member of staff for a dance, tried to sit on the final table, demanded to deal the final table, shouted across the casino floor, and definitely went "Wooooo!" far too many times. Surveys were also conducted as to who was the fattest out of me and Rich. It's clearly Rich, but it's been a running joke.


I wake up on Ben's couch wrapped up in freshly washed elasticated bed sheets (nice). I grab my phone and wallet from the table and it's not looking good. I have £30 in the wallet and have sent multiple, completely incomprehensible text messages to a couple of girls. I'm going to share as typed. Bear in mind it's an iPhone with a QWERTY keyboard and predictable text for more interesting mistakes :-)

"Do as you're a sexy lady ;-) How's about what we would want?x"

"Hey hot stuff, I think if you were full of it and we were to be wntertaining each other there would be nothing that could just go! Just whta a you wearing?x"

"I want to love with you with me and we may find dome aujsy place for both of us ;-)x"

Move over Casanova! Still I've seen worse Briggs ;-)

So I'm also over £100 lighter than when I last remember. Did I sit back down and play cash? How did I lose it? I honestly have absolutely no idea. I have a horrible feeling I may have open shoved £100 with crap and lost it that way, but you'd really think I'd remember that! I'm really laid back and carefree anyway, so when I get shitfaced I completely mentally shutdown and forget hours and hours. If anyone can shed any light here please leave a comment!

Sunday saw the long awaited 5 a side comeback. I was shit. I think I get at least a 20% worse hangover than most people, and also play 20% worse than most of the squad on a hangover. Add to that I've not kicked a ball properly since November of 2007 and my overall %age isn't looking too good. Ben managed to jink it round me once, and meg me once for good measure too. For anyone who hasn't seen Ben play football this is catastrophically bad on my part. I returned the megs a couple of times though. I also managed to score (take note Azz) but overall had a touch like an elephant and couldn't beat a traffic cone!

I was then forced to have a cold shower (shithouse JJB) and quickly drive home for my local pool league game. Thankfully it was a pretty clear drive because I'd taken a severe turn for the worse after footy. Despite being vice-captain and a very capable pool player, I decided to sit out for the good of the team. I had by now developed really bad shivers and shakes, and my eyes were like piss holes in the snow. Cue more piss taking.

I've played a little tonight for $180 profit, depsite still struggling and not playing anything resembling any kind of A game at all. I caught some nice cards. Still the knee feels good (!!!) after a decent test on Sunday, and I'll hit the running again tomorrow. Off to finish watching Lost Season 4. Crazy stuff!


Poker play the Soap way said...

On the way home the taxi driver took you up the arris -you thought it was betetr than last time you paid for sex in the Dam so gave him a tip instead of £75 a 1'er.

Hope this helps

TEAMDOBB said...

aboot time you put a decent post up0:)
reminds me of a normal neet out

p.s. ya wanted picture on the notice board in Grosvenor takes 20ibs off ya